Take Time for Yourself

Well another three and a half months has all of a sudden gone by without me writing a single word and in all honesty I haven’t felt any desire to write at all.

I am not exactly sure why, but I kept feeling kind of guilty about it, and that sort of made me feel like I should write something which then stopped me completely!! Call me me mad if you want!

Why do some people (well, me!)  put this strange pressure on themselves to do things when there is no need for it?  Louise Hay is right in saying that she would like to take the word “should” and remove it from the dictionary. Whenever people (me) say to themselves; “I should be more organised at work”, “I should eat more healthy”, “I should do more exercise”, whatever, for me that word is exactly what stops me doing what I “Should” or what other people think I “Should”!

Whenever I say to myself “I should………”, immediately afterwards I automatically start to think of excuses not to do it and most of the time I end up not doing it! I wonder sometimes if I am the only one that goes through this strange thought process?!

However, her solution to that way of thinking is to replace the word “Should” with  “If I really wanted to, I could……………” and it works an absolute treat, whenever I remember to do it!!

This is the other thing; I very often have to work fairly hard at sticking to what I learn and I often fall back into old habits of both thinking and doing, and sometimes the old habits take over again for a while. It’s like taking two steps forward and one back!

The good news is the fact that even though I let the old habits take over from time to time, I now know that I can switch back at any time, which I didn’t before I started all of this self improvement stuff. I also realise that switching back really is as easy as simply making the decision to do so.

Making the decision can be that hard part!

There have been times when I wish I had never opened the door to all of this because, once you do, there is no turning back.

Perhaps there is some truth in the phrase “Ignorance is bliss”! Fortunately I very rarely think these thoughts anymore, and whenever I do, I pretty much instantly think about how much my life has improved since I started learning about this. In other words; I really do not want to go back to being ignorant to all of this.

I think at the same time though, it is important to sometimes take a little break from it all and give your mind a chance to absorb it all, which is another thing I have had to learn. It was all or nothing with me and I would go through so much of it in a short space of time, which then got me a little bit confused.

What did slow me down was a book by Spencer Johnson called One Minute for Yourself

It is a very short book and written in a story form, but it really made me open my eyes, not just in terms of doing too much learning but also in my work, which has been too hectic lately. I read it twice and then gave it to a friend who, I felt needed it more than me, but after a week without it I went out and bought another copy.

Have I managed to erase the word “Should” and replace it “If I really wanted to I could”? No not quite yet, but I am much more aware of it and I know that when I feel stressed or overwhelmed at work it is usually because I have told myself that I “Should” get something done! That is also exactly why it has taken me this long to write anything on here. Every time I attempted to even start writing something it was because I felt I should and also I was getting slightly worried that if Ileft it too long I would never write anything on here again. Obviously that is no longer the case.

Time will tell how long it will be before I write again, but when it happens, it will be because I really want to and not because I feel “I Should”!!!

Until then

I wish you all the best

J

Reflection

Sometimes I spend time reflecting on where I am in life and try to establish if I have actually accomplished anything at all.

Mostly I do this just to get an idea of whether or not I am actually going in the right direction. Sometimes I do it when I feel the need for approval and sometimes when I feel proud of something I have achieved.

It makes me feel better to, I guess in a way, I compare my state of being now to how it used to be, and pretty much every time I do this I end up feeling better and proud of how far I have actually come. More importantly it shows me that what I am doing is working and it proves to me that my emotional guidance system is working.

Even the way I accomplish tasks at work has completely transformed in the past 12 months and my confidence is at a higher level that I have ever experienced, which proves that I am doing something right. Does it mean that I can lean back and relax now? No I don’t think so, because I believe I have only just scratched the surface. I have only just started to get some understanding and clarity into what I am doing and why I am doing it.

My naive understanding of “The Law of Attraction” or whatever you choose to call it was along the lines of; well, just decide what you want and then the Universe will make sure that you get it, you don’t even have to work out how it’s gonna come about. I quite liked that! It sounded easy to me and I read a book about “Cosmic Ordering” which confirmed to me that you, just in your mind phone up the universal mail order catalogue and order whatever you want and it will be delivered.

Is it really as simple as this? There’s a part of me that think it is but at the same time there are doubts around that, and I guess because out of all the books I have read and all the audio programs I have followed, approximately half of them tell you to simply tell the universe what you want and then forget about it until it arrives and the other half tell you to take daily action. That confused me terribly for a long time and still does sometimes because there is truth in both concepts and I think that ultimately there really is one concept but because of the vast amount of information available around this subject it is sometimes hard to decipher what is of real value.

Let’s look at “The Secret” as an example. I am not sure exactly what Rhonda Byrne’s aim or objective was with that project. If it was to get people to want to learn more about the “Law of Attraction” then she accomplished that really well. If she wanted people to fully understand how it works and how it is applied then I think it left some to be desired, at least form my perspective. I am not trying to discourage anyone from buying or reading the book or watching the DVD because it did have a very positive impact on me. I have not yet seen the Movie, but I read the book 3 times and the one thing that really made sense to me was the pages about gratitude and how to be grateful for all the good things in your life and that alone has changed my life tremendously. What it also did was open other doors for me, in other words it made me search for more information and led me down the path of Jerry & Esther Hicks and the teachings of Abraham, which I will get ino in more detail at another time. It also made me find Klaus Joehle & His Living on Love books which has had a bigger impact on my life than “The Secret”, However, what I really want from all of these self improvement books/courses etc is a simple step by step uide on how to actually do it

Even when you read all these things I guess there are different ways of going about it in the sense that I used to just read and not actually go through the exercises thinking that I would just read through it and then revisit it, but usually the revisiting part never happened.

I was happy to be the observer of people accomplishing wonderful things and I could easily feel happy for them and at the same time wish I could accomplish the things I wanted, but now I realise I was seeing it from a point where I did not believe I could do it.
It is not until I think back on where I was that I realise that I have moved forward and thinking back and reflecting on my life has become a very important thing to do simply because it confirms that what I am doing is right and when I somehow get off the path reflction gently steers me back to path.

Keep going

J

Dream Stealers

They are closer than you might think!!!!!!

Up until now I have lived my entire life trying to get approval and recognition from other people, which meant that every time I had an idea I would immediately tell someone so I could get a little bit of approval. However, it never worked out that way, except a few times when I did get a little bit of recognition and approval. But regardless of the response the idea itself died there and then!

What I got most of the time was endless warnings, that the idea(s) would never work, that I would get hurt, that I would make a fool of myself (I’m sure you can add to it!)

So who are these people with ALL this amazing knowledge and wisdom??
Sadly they are the people closest to you, and NO they do NOT mean you any harm, nor do they think you stupid or naive. They are trying to look out for you to make you sure you do not face failure and disappointment! The important thing to remember, however, is that they are not you! They do not know what you think, what your desires are, and even if you told them, they probably wouldn’t understand, because they have their own issues to deal with and they may just still be in the victim phase where circumstance is to blame!! If you are still reading this, then obviously you have realised that you are no longer a victim and that you control your own life!

Let me just be clear about one thing before we move on:

Whoever your dream stealers are, be it your parents, brothers, sisters, family, lover or friend, I am not here to pass judgement on them and I am confident that you love them and that they love you.
My point is that, when you start to look for answers and look at life a little different than everybody else, they may just start to feel a little threatened and frightened.
I have experienced that with most of my family and also some of my friends
At that time I felt I had to constantly tell what I did all the time, partly because I was excited about what I had learned and discovered and partly because I wanted some approval!!!
How far did that get me?? Actually it made me go backwards and it made me question whether I should just stop learning and instead go with all the suggestions of my “dream stealers”.

Luckily I decided to carry on exploring who i am and carry on learning because it makes me happy! It makes me feel great about myself and because of that I look for outside approval less and less.

Anyway, the real point of this entry is simply this: Whatever you decide to learn, whatever idea you want to pursue, whatever choice you make in life; KEEP IT TO YOURSELF until you are in a position to show rather than tell. Trust me, the only approval you need is from YOU. When you go to bed excited about your idea and wake up the next morning eager to learn more and develop your idea further, all you need is your own approval!!! Tell no one, unless you are lucky enough to have someone in your life who you trust implicitly to give you a totally objective opinion.

So my rule is to tell no one about what I do, except you of course, but then again, I don’t know you and you don’t know me (or do you??????)

J