Making a Difference

May 1, 2009

Making a DifferenceI have wanted to write this “story” for nearly a year now but what held me back was the fear that by writing it I would be deemed to blow my own trumpet! That feeling is still here to a certain extent and as I am writing this I am still undecided as to whether or not I should post it.

the point of the story  has nothing to do with blowing my own trumpet but instead one of the most important lessons in my life.  A lesson about helping another human being during a time where I could have so easily dismissed her as wasting my time.

In my job I generally have 2 – 5 clients coming to see me every day. Most of them I have never met before, some of them I know and some have become wonderful friends. This particular lady came to me hoping to reduce her payments on her mortgage as 18 months previously she had contracted cancer and as a result had no other option than to take some time off work while going through treatment. My first instinct was that I could probably reduce her payments by a meager £30 per month and I wanted to do better than that because I felt she deserved it (not sure at what point I appointed myself the judge of who deserves what!!)

It may be worth mentioning that my job unfortunately involves having a “sales target” (those 2 words put together always makes me cringe) and that the time spent with her would not get me any closer to it. However, a lesson I learned a long time ago, is that honesty and no bullshit is the only way to develop good relationships and since I learned that lesson I have lived by it.

Another factor (I think) was that I had just finished “Fish Philosophy” (See the post Choose You Attitude) which is why I chose to just “Be There”

Our first meeting lasted no more than 30 minutes or so and throughout I remained focused on finding some way of improving her situation. I decided   to go through all her regular expenses. I felt that if I could only save her such a small amount each month on her mortgage there had to be another way of reducing her outgoings further. During this exercise we discovered that she had an insurance payment going out of her account, which had been active for a long time. She had no idea what it was for and had no paperwork with her. I told her to go home and dig out any kind of paperwork that could shed some light on it and then come back.

She did exactly that! She came back with the biggest carrier back full of all kinds of letters, contracts, financial statements etc and her comment was; “you’ll regret asking me to come back”. We spent (mostly me) a long time sorting through it all and actually ended up getting rid of the majority of it. However, amongst all of this the insurance policy emerged and it became apparent that it covered her for the cancer she had been diagnosed with. The only problem at that point was the fact that you  generally have to claim within the first 12 months of diagnosis and at this point 18 moths had passed. Between us we decided that she had everything to gain and nothing to lose, although she straight away felt it would be a waste of time and I think she did not want to get her hopes up only to feel disappointed when (in her mind) they’d tell her she’d missed the deadline. I phoned the insurance company and explained what she’d been through.

In retrospect it appears that the Universe or God had arranged for people to be extremely helpful that day because the guy I spoke to was (and I am sure still is) wonderful. He kept it simple and arranged for a claim form to be sent out. We arranged to meet a week later as she felt it would be too overwhelming for her to fill it in on her own.

When we met the 3rd time it didn’t feel like a client visiting anymore but more like a friend visiting for a coffee and a chat. We filled in the claim form, sent it off with fingers crossed. She still did not believe it would happen and in all honesty I had my doubts too, but at this point something had happened in me. I was filled with a desire to fight for her to make sure it came through and this time it wasn’t to gain any kind of approval or a pat on the back for a job well done. All I wanted was for this to come through for her.

A good pathAbout a week after we sent of the claim form I went on holiday in Scotland for a week. When I came back to work and checked my diary I noticed she was scheduled to come in to see me. I figured that she’d had some more paperwork through that she wanted help with and didn’t give it another thought.

I was in for a little surprise when she came in. She looked at me and then gave me the biggest hug. Not only did they pay out enough to pay of her mortgage, she was left with £7,500 to spare. While I had been away she been out buying a computer, which she had always wanted but could never afford and was so excited telling me about going on google earth etc. It’s impossible to describe how I felt. I was so incredibly grateful that the Universe or whatever you want to call i came through for us.

She wrote the most wonderful letter to my boss and I did get a lot of recognition as a result. However the recognition was very short lived and it actually did not mean a lot to me.

My real reward was the day she came back and told me that it had paid out. My reward was the look on her face, the face of a person who I had only met 4 times in my life. Most of all, the reward was how I felt in myself for taking the time to give another person my full and undivided attention and knowing that I made a difference in her life!

I will never forget that part of my journey. It was one of the most fulfilling days of my life and to this day I think I helped myself more than I helped her!


Introducing a couple of Friends

April 23, 2009

I met these two wonderful people in the summer of 2007 when they were busking outside my office.

Their music may be miles apart but their talent is wonderful and the gratitude for the hours of stunning music these 2 guys provided for me is endless.

I haven’t seen them since then but I still live in the hope that one day i will hear the familiar sound of their wonderful music again outside my office.  Until then, I am lucky enough to have their CD’s.

I first met Christopher in 2007 but the first time I heard him busking was the year before. That year I didn’t get to know him,  I just enjoyed his music from a distance.

When he came back in 2007, I ended up spending more time in the street outside my office than actually doing my job!! His journey is a wonderful story in itself which you can read about HERE and his music has the most calming effect on me.

The following clip is taken in the street outside my office:

I also met Walter Jr that summer who’s talent on the guitar is phenomenal and until I practice my own guitar playing more I will always watch him with a degree of envy. He is also the most wonderful and easily approachable person you could hope to meet.

I have chosen one of my favourites below, and if you want to explore further you can search for him on Youtube using the term Kaiuan


Both of them are an inspiration to me and I have nothing but admiration for how they have chosen to follow their passion.

I have one favour to ask: If they happen to land in your town or city, please welcome them with open arms.

I am honoured and proud that our paths crossed, it has added so much value to my life. Please come back soon!


May be the nicest email ever!

February 23, 2009

I have literally just finished my previous post and the following came through on email from a dear friend of mine and posting it felt like the right thing to do.

I AM THANKFUL:

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT’S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED .

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME .

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE CAR PARK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY  BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAILS
BECAUSE  IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!


Self Improvement

January 28, 2009

Have I been reading too much into the meaning of “Self Improvement”? and could my angle of approach, have had a potentially negative impact rather than a positive?

Let me make myself a bit clearer.

The word “Self Improvement” seems to indicate that there is something wrong with me. That I have to improve areas of me and my life. Now there are many areas that I would like to change in my life, but I think,  if I approach it from the angle of improving it seems to add some kind of pressure onto it and maybe that is why I so rarely complete some of the stuff I start. Also, if I contantly think about having to improve my life, am I instead reaffirming that there is something wrong with my life and who I am? I used to always think that in order for me to find happiness, I would have to make dramatic changes in all areas – financially, emotinally, romantically, carreer, status etc. What an enormous pressure to put on oneself!

I am beginning to realise, and more importantly believe, that I can choose happiness at any point! So far the easiest way for me to achive this has been down to finding things to be grateful for, finding more ways to love and respect myself and writing my journal and this blog.

Another thing I have been questioning for such a long time is why the success rate of the “self help” “self improvement” stuff out there is so low (for me at least). Now I have no statistical data to back up this statement, I am just going by my experience and lack of results. There is a very good chance that it is purely down to how I approached the material.

However, for the purpose of this, lets assume that  I am right. Is it possible that if you digested all the self help material out there (assuming that would be humanly possible) you would never experience what the material promises you? I have questioned this numerous times before and then yesterday, during  a moment of frustration and despair of feeling stuck, I read this article on Journey of the Soul and what an eyeopener! Please have a read of it as the rest of this may make more sense.

What I have come to realise, is that I have learned something from all of the material I have ever gone through. Sometimes very very little, sometimes a lot more, but never exactly what it promised on the package. And quite often, after a little while, I was back to the old ways.

I could be completely wrong in my thinking here but I think it is time to try a different approach. A more simple and light hearted approach!

I think that gratitude and love for myself is a good starting point, knowing that, I am absolutely fine exactly as I am and do not need to improve in anyway, however, whenever I choose to change any aspect of my life I will find a way that works for me.

Best wishes

J

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Journey of the Soul