Journey of Life

the place formerly known as control your destiny

Dream Stealers

They are closer than you might think!!!!!!

Up until now I have lived my entire life trying to get approval and recognition from other people, which meant that every time I had an idea I would immediately tell someone so I could get a little bit of approval. However, it never worked out that way, except a few times when I did get a little bit of recognition and approval. But regardless of the response the idea itself died there and then!

What I got most of the time was endless warnings, that the idea(s) would never work, that I would get hurt, that I would make a fool of myself (I’m sure you can add to it!)

So who are these people with ALL this amazing knowledge and wisdom??
Sadly they are the people closest to you, and NO they do NOT mean you any harm, nor do they think you stupid or naive. They are trying to look out for you to make you sure you do not face failure and disappointment! The important thing to remember, however, is that they are not you! They do not know what you think, what your desires are, and even if you told them, they probably wouldn’t understand, because they have their own issues to deal with and they may just still be in the victim phase where circumstance is to blame!! If you are still reading this, then obviously you have realised that you are no longer a victim and that you control your own life!

Let me just be clear about one thing before we move on:

Whoever your dream stealers are, be it your parents, brothers, sisters, family, lover or friend, I am not here to pass judgement on them and I am confident that you love them and that they love you.
My point is that, when you start to look for answers and look at life a little different than everybody else, they may just start to feel a little threatened and frightened.
I have experienced that with most of my family and also some of my friends
At that time I felt I had to constantly tell what I did all the time, partly because I was excited about what I had learned and discovered and partly because I wanted some approval!!!
How far did that get me?? Actually it made me go backwards and it made me question whether I should just stop learning and instead go with all the suggestions of my “dream stealers”.

Luckily I decided to carry on exploring who i am and carry on learning because it makes me happy! It makes me feel great about myself and because of that I look for outside approval less and less.

Anyway, the real point of this entry is simply this: Whatever you decide to learn, whatever idea you want to pursue, whatever choice you make in life; KEEP IT TO YOURSELF until you are in a position to show rather than tell. Trust me, the only approval you need is from YOU. When you go to bed excited about your idea and wake up the next morning eager to learn more and develop your idea further, all you need is your own approval!!! Tell no one, unless you are lucky enough to have someone in your life who you trust implicitly to give you a totally objective opinion.

So my rule is to tell no one about what I do, except you of course, but then again, I don’t know you and you don’t know me (or do you??????)



4 responses to “Dream Stealers

  1. viv66 March 4, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    It’s one of the unspoken guidelines of creative writing, to keep the ideas and so on very close to your chest while they are still developping and NOT discuss them with others. These ideas are at a crucial and fragile stage of pre-birth and it’s one of the reasons why I don’t belong to and don’t intend to belong to any sort of writing circle, because when other people come clop hopping in they can actually cause a spontaeous abortion of an idea. I don’t talk to any body about what I am writing about though I do share a tiny bit with my husband about how it’s going(or not!). And there’s also the thing where you start explaing about a character or a scene and suddenly what had been so vivid and powerful in your head becomes kind of lame and a bit dumb and then it often dies before you have a chance to let it grow.
    It’s a lot the same with this matter of spiritual journeys; you share either with a true soul mate or just your journal.

  2. J March 4, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    Thank you Viv,

    It has taken me pretty much all of my life to learn that lesson! Better late than never eh?!!

    I have shared the fact that I write this blog with some of my friends and family but have not given them access, because that is exactly what killed my last blog. Not so much because of feedback from the people I told about it, but because I started writing for them instead of me.

    I never even knew until very recently just how much I love writing, which is why I keep this blog to myself because writing on here is the only way (at the moment) I feel I can express myself with complete honesty.

    Another (and the most wonderful) benefit of having my blog is the people that have become a part of my life.
    I may never meet you or any of my other friends in the “land of blogs” but I still feel more connected to all of you than to the friends I have where I am.

    With love and much gratitude


  3. viv66 March 5, 2009 at 8:02 am

    I know what you mean. In some ways it’s easier to write when strangers read it than when people you live with read it. I am always really nervous when I finish a new book and let either my husband or one of my very best friends read it. In his case, I know he will be both objective and supportive, but it’s still important he LIKES it. My oldest friend is also these things but if she doens’t like it, she will actually tell me and since she’s a very blunt person, she doesn’t know how to sugar coat it. Thankfully, of the 7 of my novels she’s read(she hasn’t read the eighth yet) only one she didn’t like.
    I have told both him and her about the blog but it isn’t something either of them would pursue much, to be honest. But I have not told anyone from work about it and don’t intend to. My dad knows about it but I haven’t given him the url either, and he hasn’t asked!
    I began as an author on a joint blog but after a few weeks, I decided to branch out as I felt a lot of what I wanted to write wasn’t what anyone wanted to read, and indeed, after one post where I got a great deal of negative feedback, I realised I was looking at the world in a different way. I still post on the joint blog but not so often and not the same things.
    It’s about treading softly, I guess.
    It’s good to meet you, J.

  4. Pingback: Who is J? « Control Your Destiny

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