Journey of Life

the place formerly known as control your destiny

Take Time for Yourself

Well another three and a half months has all of a sudden gone by without me writing a single word and in all honesty I haven’t felt any desire to write at all.

I am not exactly sure why, but I kept feeling kind of guilty about it, and that sort of made me feel like I should write something which then stopped me completely!! Call me me mad if you want!

Why do some people (well, me!)  put this strange pressure on themselves to do things when there is no need for it?  Louise Hay is right in saying that she would like to take the word “should” and remove it from the dictionary. Whenever people (me) say to themselves; “I should be more organised at work”, “I should eat more healthy”, “I should do more exercise”, whatever, for me that word is exactly what stops me doing what I “Should” or what other people think I “Should”!

Whenever I say to myself “I should………”, immediately afterwards I automatically start to think of excuses not to do it and most of the time I end up not doing it! I wonder sometimes if I am the only one that goes through this strange thought process?!

However, her solution to that way of thinking is to replace the word “Should” with  “If I really wanted to, I could……………” and it works an absolute treat, whenever I remember to do it!!

This is the other thing; I very often have to work fairly hard at sticking to what I learn and I often fall back into old habits of both thinking and doing, and sometimes the old habits take over again for a while. It’s like taking two steps forward and one back!

The good news is the fact that even though I let the old habits take over from time to time, I now know that I can switch back at any time, which I didn’t before I started all of this self improvement stuff. I also realise that switching back really is as easy as simply making the decision to do so.

Making the decision can be that hard part!

There have been times when I wish I had never opened the door to all of this because, once you do, there is no turning back.

Perhaps there is some truth in the phrase “Ignorance is bliss”! Fortunately I very rarely think these thoughts anymore, and whenever I do, I pretty much instantly think about how much my life has improved since I started learning about this. In other words; I really do not want to go back to being ignorant to all of this.

I think at the same time though, it is important to sometimes take a little break from it all and give your mind a chance to absorb it all, which is another thing I have had to learn. It was all or nothing with me and I would go through so much of it in a short space of time, which then got me a little bit confused.

What did slow me down was a book by Spencer Johnson called One Minute for Yourself

It is a very short book and written in a story form, but it really made me open my eyes, not just in terms of doing too much learning but also in my work, which has been too hectic lately. I read it twice and then gave it to a friend who, I felt needed it more than me, but after a week without it I went out and bought another copy.

Have I managed to erase the word “Should” and replace it “If I really wanted to I could”? No not quite yet, but I am much more aware of it and I know that when I feel stressed or overwhelmed at work it is usually because I have told myself that I “Should” get something done! That is also exactly why it has taken me this long to write anything on here. Every time I attempted to even start writing something it was because I felt I should and also I was getting slightly worried that if Ileft it too long I would never write anything on here again. Obviously that is no longer the case.

Time will tell how long it will be before I write again, but when it happens, it will be because I really want to and not because I feel “I Should”!!!

Until then

I wish you all the best



6 responses to “Take Time for Yourself

  1. Meg July 12, 2008 at 11:39 am

    Nice to see you back writing again!!

  2. J July 12, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    Thank you. It has been far too long!!

  3. shiona July 25, 2008 at 6:25 am

    I have just realized that the “I Should” way of thinking works exactly the same way with me.
    I have been postponing doing certain things fro a long time and just the thought that I should do them is pretty repelling.
    Thank you for sharing this insight of yours. I believe it will be of great help to many people.

  4. J July 25, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    Shiona; Thank you so much for your comment and I am glad that I am not the only one that goes through this (Now there are at least 2 of us!)
    I am grateful that reading it has helped you realize this. I know how repelling the thought can be and for every day it gets postponed it gets even more repelling.
    The good news is that when you “choose” to do it rather than do it because you feel you have been postponing it for too long, the feeling of relief is wonderful.

    The real challenge (at least for me) is to “choose” to do it rather than have the voice in my head saying “I Should”, but I am working on it.

    Best wishes


  5. Phil Bolsta August 5, 2008 at 10:33 pm

    I agree that whenever the word “should” pops up and you feel resistance to it, that’s your intuition sending up a red flag. Get out of your conscious mind and listen to your inner voice. Do that, and “should do” is replaced by “want to”! It’s a much nicer place to live!

    Phil Bolsta
    • Author of “Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything” (

  6. Pingback: Bookmarks about Dictionary

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