Journey of Life

the place formerly known as control your destiny

Monthly Archives: January 2009

Self Improvement

Have I been reading too much into the meaning of “Self Improvement”? and could my angle of approach, have had a potentially negative impact rather than a positive?

Let me make myself a bit clearer.

The word “Self Improvement” seems to indicate that there is something wrong with me. That I have to improve areas of me and my life. Now there are many areas that I would like to change in my life, but I think,  if I approach it from the angle of improving it seems to add some kind of pressure onto it and maybe that is why I so rarely complete some of the stuff I start. Also, if I contantly think about having to improve my life, am I instead reaffirming that there is something wrong with my life and who I am? I used to always think that in order for me to find happiness, I would have to make dramatic changes in all areas – financially, emotinally, romantically, carreer, status etc. What an enormous pressure to put on oneself!

I am beginning to realise, and more importantly believe, that I can choose happiness at any point! So far the easiest way for me to achive this has been down to finding things to be grateful for, finding more ways to love and respect myself and writing my journal and this blog.

Another thing I have been questioning for such a long time is why the success rate of the “self help” “self improvement” stuff out there is so low (for me at least). Now I have no statistical data to back up this statement, I am just going by my experience and lack of results. There is a very good chance that it is purely down to how I approached the material.

However, for the purpose of this, lets assume that  I am right. Is it possible that if you digested all the self help material out there (assuming that would be humanly possible) you would never experience what the material promises you? I have questioned this numerous times before and then yesterday, during  a moment of frustration and despair of feeling stuck, I read this article on Journey of the Soul and what an eyeopener! Please have a read of it as the rest of this may make more sense.

What I have come to realise, is that I have learned something from all of the material I have ever gone through. Sometimes very very little, sometimes a lot more, but never exactly what it promised on the package. And quite often, after a little while, I was back to the old ways.

I could be completely wrong in my thinking here but I think it is time to try a different approach. A more simple and light hearted approach!

I think that gratitude and love for myself is a good starting point, knowing that, I am absolutely fine exactly as I am and do not need to improve in anyway, however, whenever I choose to change any aspect of my life I will find a way that works for me.

Best wishes


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Journey of the Soul


Remembering to be Grateful

Today has been the type of day that tests your strength (or mine at least) and on reflection I would have liked to have dealt with it more positively!

Yesterday I discovered that I have a 30% chance of being made redundant from my job but I won’t know for sure for another few weeks. In the meantime I am expected to just carry on as normal, which prooved easier said than done today! I don’t know why I let myself get on a downward spiral. I can only put it down to convincing myself that yesterday’s announcement would be a perfect excuse for procrastination and that is exactly what I did! What I realise now, is that, the only achivement so far today is having created a double work load for tomorrow!!! At least I know I am the one responsible for that!

I can’t go back and start the day again so I might as well let go of the regrets and thoughts on what I could have done differently as well as the thoughts on what may happen in the next few weeks.. The day is not over yet and I have made the decision to finish the day on a positive note!

I read a wonderful blog entry a week ago and decided to go back and read it again and that inspired me to list down all the things I am grateful for;

I have a wonderful home where I can be myself.

I have the ability to write this blog, which helps me in so many ways.

I have the most caring and loving family who supports me in everything I do.

I have a job that I am good at and more importantly gives me the opportunity to help people.

I am grateful for every comment I receive on here – they mean so much more than you may think!

I am in good health

I am proud of what I have achieved.

I am getting better at loving myself.

I have the most wonderful friends and I am grateful for every moment I have with them.

I am grateful for the life I have (even when times are hard)

I am grateful for every opportunity to show kindness to a stranger.

I am grateful for the realisation that the outside world as I see it is a reflection of my inner world.

I have the ability to learn and grow whenever I choose to.

I am grateful for the feeling of contributing something, simply by writing this blog.

I can choose to be happy anytime I want to.

I love being kind and gentle.

I am grateful for everyone who chooses to share their thoughts and ideas on blogs. I have gained so much and I believe we can all learn from each other. I certainly have!

I am so grateful for “December lost in confusion” which inspired me to do this. (Thank you Shiona)

And finally I am grateful for writing this list. I can now end the day with a smile on my face.


Notes from the Universe

Be selfish for a moment and think of something material that you want… something fantastic, something awesome, something wonderful.

Now, double it. Whatever it is you want, think of owning two of them. They’re yours free and clear. Think of the implications their possession would have on your life. What would your neighbors say? Where would you keep them? What colors would you choose, what dimensions, what characteristics?

Okay, you’re about to receive a third one, more than you could possibly use (at the moment), so who would you give it to? How would you tell them? What would their reaction be? Would you be able to help them take ownership? Would you be there to facilitate the transition, if necessary? What would your friends and family say about your generosity? Would you do it again? If so, for whom?

This exercise has now concluded. Drop it from your thinking. Resume enjoying the here and now, because it’s the only place happiness resides, and every so often, as your mind wanders to thoughts of the above, smile with gratitude.

Choices, choices, choices,
The Universe

The Universe

I get notes like this one through on email every day and, if nothing else, it always puts a smile on my face even when there seems to be nothing to smile about.

Click here to get your own Notes from the Universe.


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