I was doing another exercise from “You Can Heal You Life” called “The Mirror” and it got me thinking about something else;
I once read that the things we dislike most about another person are the things we dislike most about ourselves! I am still having a difficult time understanding this concept although I have seen perfect examples of it in my life:
I am less than patient with people who are afraid to step outside their comfort zone and try something new (usually within my own comfort zone) and yet at the same time I can come up with a vast number of excuses to stay in my own comfort zone!
I get annoyed with people who do not stand up for what they believe in, yet I have often agreed with someone else’s belief just to avoid conflict or more importantly, just to get some approval.
These examples makes perfect sense to me and gives me guidance as long as I am honest with myself and try to find out what habits or beliefs I could benefit from getting rid of. (If I really want to!)
I then decided that I wanted to explore this further and I started thinking about people in my life who I have disliked or felt irritated by, which is probably not the most positive starting point, but I wanted to find out which of these behaviours I mirror. I figured this could be a good way of finding out more about myself and also give me a chance to grow.
Before I started I made myself a promise, that no matter what came up, I would forgive myself for it and leave it in the past where it belongs. I am after all on a path of self love and self approval and I intend to stick to this.
In all honesty, getting started was easier said than done! I felt fear of what might surface but then again I realised that staying in my comfort zone would get me nowhere.
The issues that came out were mostly the issues I knew I had been scolding myself over but a few others came up as well. If you decide to do this, please look at whatever comes up objectively and realise that you are not at fault and no one is to blame.
Something interesting happened after doing this: I realised that pretty much every behaviour of the people I listed down I had mirrored at some stage in my life. More interestingly, some of them was when i was much much younger!
More importantly, it gave me a sense of relief and calmness, I have not felt before. I saw some of me in all of them and I had new feelings of compassion for all of them. I began to understand what might have caused that particular behaviour and my guess is, it was fear of something.
After doing this, I’d like to believe that I can be more understanding of other people’s situations and problems and be less judgmental. Whenever I feel annoyed or irritated with someone else I can now take a step back and try to see it from their perspective.
I am not suggesting that by doing this you will end up loving every person that irritates you or that you should even try to. There are people I considered friends a long time ago that I have completely let go of and I encounter people most days that irritate me to some degree, but is it possible that these people could be crossing our paths to teach us something?