Journey of Life

the place formerly known as control your destiny

Monthly Archives: April 2009

The Destructive Side of Comfortable.

ThoughtsI guess there’s no real danger involved in being comfortable but for me it really has been a challenge that I have never really been aware of.

Feeling comfortable in itself is the not the real challenge, it is the choices (or lack of) I make when I feel comfortable.

While I was away on holiday/vacation I had no real opportunity to write stuff down but plenty of time to reflect on things and one of these was why my life has been like an emotional roller coaster over the past few years.  I wondered why I felt I had no control over the ups and downs until I started thinking back on the times when I had experienced times of feeling happiness, joy, confidence, calm and at peace with everything versus the times when anxiety and fear came back to rear it’s ugly head.

I had been thinking about this before I went away but then got caught up in everyday life and didn’t really explore it further, partly because I couldn’t really get my head around what I was thinking.

Now I am beginning to believe that feeling comfortable is (or has the potential to be) destructive for me! I know this may sound like I have completely lost the plot once and for all! I am writing this to try to explain it to myself and to convince myself that I haven’t lost it completely!

Feeling comfortable of course is a good feeling. For me it means no anxiety or fear about the future, be it financial worries (I know that one far too well) or fear of illness etc. It also means I find it easier to stay present for longer.

The negative or destructive aspect about feeling comfortable for me is the fact that I stop learning and growing. It is like a part of me convinces me that my work is done and that all is perfect. It’s not until I am back down in the “dark hole” and having to find a way out, that I start again.

It’s only when I seem to be in a place of pain that I find the strength and motivation to get back on the right path (wherever that may be).

This leads me to question if there’s an element of me being in the “dark hole” that I am holding onto, and if so, why? I know I will have to explore that further.

CloudsWhy do I seem to create these situations for myself? It sometimes feels like all the work I had done up until that point has been undone and that I am right back where I started!  When I get a chance to put this feeling into perspective I realise that, even though I may be back where I started, I have learned a lot along the way and maybe this is just an opportunity to learn lessons again. Lessons I may have not been ready for at the time!

Maybe the lesson for me here is to remember (yet again) that it’s the journey that matters and not the end result!


Introducing a couple of Friends

I met these two wonderful people in the summer of 2007 when they were busking outside my office.

Their music may be miles apart but their talent is wonderful and the gratitude for the hours of stunning music these 2 guys provided for me is endless.

I haven’t seen them since then but I still live in the hope that one day i will hear the familiar sound of their wonderful music again outside my office.  Until then, I am lucky enough to have their CD’s.

I first met Christopher in 2007 but the first time I heard him busking was the year before. That year I didn’t get to know him,  I just enjoyed his music from a distance.

When he came back in 2007, I ended up spending more time in the street outside my office than actually doing my job!! His journey is a wonderful story in itself which you can read about HERE and his music has the most calming effect on me.

The following clip is taken in the street outside my office:

I also met Walter Jr that summer who’s talent on the guitar is phenomenal and until I practice my own guitar playing more I will always watch him with a degree of envy. He is also the most wonderful and easily approachable person you could hope to meet.

I have chosen one of my favourites below, and if you want to explore further you can search for him on Youtube using the term Kaiuan

Both of them are an inspiration to me and I have nothing but admiration for how they have chosen to follow their passion.

I have one favour to ask: If they happen to land in your town or city, please welcome them with open arms.

I am honoured and proud that our paths crossed, it has added so much value to my life. Please come back soon!

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