Journey of Life

the place formerly known as control your destiny

Unexpected Teachers

Why do we cross paths with certain people in our lives?

It is sometimes mind boggling to me just how many people I have crossed paths with in my life and how they have had an impact on my life and also how I may have had an impact on theirs.

I have had (and still have) people in my life who always look out for me and who are always there at just the right time! I may not have been there for them in the same way, which sometimes makes me feel guilty and somewhat selfish. Then again, I have been there for other people and may have been there for them at just the right time.

There are people who have been in my life for so long that I would not want to imagine life without them and then there are people I have known for just as long or even longer where the relationship has just naturally disappeared.

HPIM0619Then there are times when we come into contact with people who present us with challenges (sometimes unreasonable challenges) or who seem to make our life a misery whenever we come in contact with them. I have crossed paths with my fair share and on reflection I often handled these situations very badly, usually with negative emotions like anger and frustration. I still go into that automatic way of reacting some times.

Then I started thinking; “what if, for some reason, I attracted these people and behaviours into my life ?” and my initial reaction to that was, “why on earth would I want to attract these people into my life?”

I obviously don’t sit at home at night consciously thinking about attracting challenging people and situations into my life!! I’d like to think I have some degree of sanity left! But, what if these people are sent to teach us something? (I mean me of course!)

Is it possible, that if we go through a spell of being continually exposed to people we generally consider inconsiderate, arrogant, rude, demanding etc, it could just be another opportunity to learn a lesson we may have missed the first few times?

If I take my “need for approval” as an example. I still go through spells of needing approval from external sources to feel good about myself, which means I haven’t fully mastered this lesson yet. I am, however, much more aware of it than when I first wrote about it 18 months ago. Still, I am crossing paths with people where this resurfaces. At the moment it is predominantly in the work arena, which  I think is because unless I do a certain number of sales each week I am made to feel “not good enough” or the phrase that they prefer to use is: “This is not where you want to be!” so when I have weeks of doing well I have this urge to phone my boss and tell her, which gives me nothing more than a “well done”! When I step outside of that circle I don’t even care about the “well done” because it really means nothing.

All I want is to be allowed to do my job and do what is best for my clients whether that leads to a sale or not!

At this point this post nearly turned into another long rant about work but I will save that for my journal.

I do know that no one can make me feel as if I am not good enough unless I let them or unless I feel that I am not good enough.

Maybe this is just one of those lessons that will take some more practice for me to learn and when I have truly mastered it, I will no longer come in contact with these kind of people.

Perhaps the lesson within the lesson is for me to remember that when I do come in contact with difficult people it is just another lesson for me to learn!

JLuckily I meet more happy, loving, caring and inspiring people, who I learn so much more from than the difficult ones.

I don’t have a huge circle of friends but the ones I have are priceless and I am forever grateful to have crossed paths with them and to have them in my life.

I have the most wonderful family who I love dearly.

And then there are all of you wonderful people I have met and connected with through blogging.

I am struggling to find the words to express my love and gratitude for the sincerity and kindness I have experienced since I started writing here.

You have inspired me at just the right time.

You have picked me up when I felt down.

You have made me laugh and made me cry.

Whenever I visit your blogs, I feel so at home.

When you visit here, I feel blessed.

I have learned so much from all of you and I feel so privileged to have crossed paths with all of you.

Thank You


8 responses to “Unexpected Teachers

  1. viv66 May 29, 2009 at 8:05 am

    ..and a big thank you to you, too, from me.
    I know what you mean abouit this; why do we seem to meet certain sorts of people etc?
    Sometimes, it’s worth remembering that most basic of Buddhist principles: shit happens. Sometimes it really doesn’t mean anything much beyond you’re having a bad week.
    For me, meeting these challenging people is about trying to remember that every word and action I do myself has consequences. So being grumpy to colleagues or students or visiting teachers knocks them back.
    I had an odd coincidence this week. My new colleague on trips this week has the same birthday as me; she was born when I turned 21. One of the teachers also had the same birthday. Imagine that, three women, sitting within six feet of each other, all with the same birthday.

    • J May 29, 2009 at 8:12 pm

      “Shit happens” – point well made!

      The fact that 3 of you have the same birthday really is a very odd coincidence bordering on spooky!!

  2. viv66 May 30, 2009 at 7:27 am

    I may go silent for a bit; am waiting for a call back from NHS direct about whther I need to go to A+E.. Don’t worry, I’;ll be back!!

  3. J May 30, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    That sounds a bit more serious than just a bad cold! Let me know that you are ok and look after yourself.

    My thoughts are with you and hope of a speedy recovery.

  4. viv66 May 30, 2009 at 4:27 pm

    I’m OK but it was scary. Basically I woke up in a pool of blood. All under control now, thankfully but it’s brought up a lot of emotions.

    • shiona May 31, 2009 at 10:22 am

      Being a regular reader of J’s blog, I just couldn’t pass by without telling you how glad I am that your situation is under control.
      Please accept my very best wishes for good health.


  5. J May 30, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    It sounds very scary to me! What brought it on??
    I am happy to hear that you are ok and not surprised it brought up a lot of emotions.

    Get well soon



  6. viv66 May 31, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    Thank you Shiona, I very much appreciate it!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: