February 26, 2010
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I feel I have so much to say, but struggle to find the words….
At the moment it seems to be a mixture of fractured thoughts…a jigsaw of missing pieces.
But in time the pieces will come together.
I will not force it.
When the time is right it will happen and until then..
I will leave you with one of my favourite pieces of music…..For the Love of God.
February 19, 2010
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A few weeks ago as I was walking home from work a rather peculiar event took place, which presented me with a couple of lessons on what it feels like not to have the time to procrastinate..
As I was walking down the street leading up to the street where I live, a girl stepped out of her car, which she had just parked, and then walked in the other direction. I wasn’t really paying attention to her but just noticed it out of the corner of my eye. About 10 seconds later as I was about to turn the corner into my street, I heard this strange – quiet noise behind me and my curiosity got the better of me.
As I turned to see where the noise was coming from I was met with a sight I would have never imagined; The car that the girl had stepped out of earlier was now slowly coming towards me with no one behind the wheel. My initial thought was to just walk around the corner as if nothing had happened. When I say walk I mean run in the hope that no one had seen me! But my conscience got the better of me as the car was headed towards a wall on the actual corner. Panic was slowly beginning to set in with no time to procrastinate on how to stop the bloody thing without being run over.
Can you imagine telling your friends, family and work colleagues that you ended up in hospital because you got run over by a car with no driver!! Trying to stop it head on seemed the least effective option and would have probably resulted in me ending up underneath the car. So I tried to stop it at the front left of the car leaving myself a clear getaway route should I fail to stop it. With the help of the kerb (curb) I managed to stop it before it hit the wall. However, this now presented me with a whole new dilemma;
The car is now parked at a 45 degree angle basically blocking the road and the only clue as to the whereabouts of the owner was the direction in which she walked. Again the tempation to just leave it and walk away came back. I was trying to convince myself that I had done my part by stopping the car without causing any damage to myself, the car or the wall, but again my conscience got the better of me so off I went, in search of the owner. Instinct told me that she’d either live in one the houses or visiting someone living in one of the houses, so I went door knocking This made me feel like a door to door sales man. There I was, wearing a suit and a bag over my shoulder (the only thing missing was the obligatory clipboard!!!) feeling rather uncomfortable about the prospect of having to knock on the doors of complete strangers.
As the first door opened, I can’t exactly say that I was greeted with a warm welcome until I explained why I had knocked and he suggested I try next door. Again, I was met with the same “warm” welcome, until I explained why I was there and the chap realised that it was his daughter’s car. The strange part, from my perspective, was the fact that he didn’t seem the slightest surprised or concerned about it and had no sense of urgency in getting the car safely parked, which left me wondering why I had seemed more concerned about their car than they did!!
Was it all a dream??
February 13, 2010
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There is nowhere left to run to and still I keep running
But from what?
My own shadow
It follows me wherever I go
I cannot get away from it, but in truth I am afraid of facing it
This is a journey I must take alone, that I know, but the fear is present
I cannot close the door I once opened
I cannot go back
There is nowhere left to hide, no one else to turn to
And until I find the courage
I am alone with my shadow