Journey of Life

the place formerly known as control your destiny

What’s the worst that could happen?

It has taken me 10 years to finally realise and admit to myself that, the only reason I chose to stay in a job I never really enjoyed doing, was to satisfy my ego by keeping a job title it could be proud of!

I started in financial services 10 years ago, not because I particularly wanted to work in this industry but a job ad persuaded me to apply and from there, I very naĩvely got myself sucked into the “promise” of making a lot of money with a title and status to match.

Reality turned out to be a hell of a lot different, at least for me, much to the disappointment of my ego who’d already planned out exactly how to spend the abundance of money soon to come our way!

What got in the way was a desire to do what I felt was ethically and morally right, even at the expense of a large commission cheque! Looking back I realise what a useless salesman I really was (and still am) especially compared to some of the people I started out with, who did manage to make a lot of money.

During my time in financial services there was an internal battle raging between my ego and my desire to do the right thing for whoever happened to be the client at the time. I went through countless sales training courses and, interestingly enough, I did extremely well within the training environment when practicing the various sales techniques but as soon as I was back in the real world I failed miserably at using any of the techniques I’d been taught because, to me, it felt manipulative and simply wrong. From a “successful” sales point of view this was to become my downfall along with my stupid and stubborn idea of treating people how I’d like to be treated!

As I am preparing to close this chapter of my life I realise that, from a sales point of view, I was a complete and utter failure – mediocre at best! However, during this time I have managed to go to sleep at the end of each day safe in the knowledge that I never sold/mis-sold anything for the sake of personal financial gain. Perhaps if I had, my life would have turned out to be a little easier for me!

Whilst the promise of abundant wealth failed to materialise (largely due to my inability to park my conscience at home) I did have an abundance of lessons thrown my way along with encounters with people I would have otherwise never experienced.

There were times at which I hoped and prayed for a better and easier life especially during the past 10 years, which has been the most difficult part of my life so far. I have no power to go back and change anything nor would I want to. I have also come to realise that everything has a price and in my case, the price for my desire to do the right thing turned out to be the loss of my job disguised in a forced resignation. However, I am inclined to think that this may actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise and a much needed wakeup call for me to move on. Time will tell.

As I am approaching the final pages of this chapter of my life I am filled with mixed emotions. I am slightly anxious at the possibility of being without a job soon but at the same time there’s relief of finally breaking free from the claws that has kept me in this prison for the past 10 years.

It’s a leap into the unknown and whilst I am no fan of Dr Pepper – “What’s the worst that could happen?”

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8 responses to “What’s the worst that could happen?

  1. grandpa December 12, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    To support your optimism let me just say that I can look back at those times that seemed the worst at the time, as we all can, to find out many years later that it was one of the best things that could have happened. We learn so much from the adversity we have to face, and many times it not only makes our lives better but it makes us better people. Savor the experience and look forward to moving on.

    • J December 14, 2010 at 11:19 pm

      Thank you very much grandpa, I am looking forward to looking back in a few years from now to fully grasp the fact that I have made the right choice .
      I shall follow your advice and savour the experience..

  2. Mysoul December 12, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    I agree with Grandpa above. There’s this saying in different forms, in many Asian Languages “A long, strenuous road, shows you the Strength of the Horse you own”.

    • J December 14, 2010 at 11:24 pm

      Hi Mysoul,
      If that saying is true then I guess I have a strong horse, although I don’t actually have a horse. It was my last day today and I am off to Denmark on Friday for a few weeks of pure rest and relaxation. Hope to catch you on (you know where) soon.

  3. Viv December 13, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    I’d rather you were a lousy salesman than someone who sold out his integrity for thirty pieces of silver!
    *hugs*

    • J December 14, 2010 at 11:37 pm

      I wouldn’t even know how to sell out my integrity but then again I was never that good at sales, at least not the hard sell!! My “ignorant and foolish” philosophy of trying to learn and understand how I can be of help and service just doesn’t cut it!!!
      hugs
      x

  4. Aries December 14, 2010 at 3:42 am

    Hi, just blog hopping.Interesting topic. I guess you can’t have it all. Not many people are able to earn a lot by doing what they love. You would have to decide if you are working for money, to put food on the table, or you already have money and working for passion. Not many can have both. Good luck to you and may you find a job that you love and earns a lot more than you expected.

    • J December 14, 2010 at 11:52 pm

      When started in Financial Services I was very naive and got sucked into the promise of earning a lot of money. I have never truly enjoyed the work because it always involved manipulating people into buying what you were trying to sell. As mentioned in the post, my conscience won the battle and as a result I never became a good salesman but I am proud of the fact that I kept my integrity intact. I don’t know what the future has in store for me but I have come to the realisation that I much prefer to do something that fits my personality than a job that serves my ego.

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