Journey of Life

the place formerly known as control your destiny

Category Archives: Gratitude

Countdown to a new beginning

In preparation for my soon departure for  a new life in Copenhagen, I have had to take a hard look at what I wanted to bring with me. This was a little difficult to begin with because at the back of my head this little voice kept interrupting and telling me that “one day this may come in handy” every time I picked up an item. So to begin with, the sorting process was nothing more than moving items from one place to another.

As moving date continued to creep closer, panic started to set in. Not just because of having to decide of what to bring and what to throw/give away but also because of all the other practical things that has to be sorted out like arranging final bills from utility companies such as phone, electric, water etc. All of a sudden I felt completely overwhelmed by the whole thing and I remember speaking to my Mum on the phone telling her that I was getting a little stressed by the whole thing, which she instantly saw as a sign that I had changed my mind about moving back home. I reassured her that this was not the case at all and also that I have finally realised that for the past few years I have worked very hard to convince myself or justify to myself that staying here was the right decision but in all honesty; what kept me here was fear of having to start all over again, fear of change and fear of being seen as a failure for coming home again.

I also spoke to some close friends in Denmark one of whom told me that she’d never understood why I had stayed on my own here for so long. When I told her that I had mostly stayed because I had managed to convince myself that coming back would be admitting defeat, I got a bit of a bollocking (in a nice way!) and she gave me some much needed perspective.

I then started to sort through things with a different frame of mind and with every item I sorted through, I had to ask myself whether or not I would truly miss it if I gave it away or threw it out and all of a sudden, getting rid of stuff became very easy. A couple a weeks ago I had around 350 CD’s that I was convinced I would never part with in my life. Now I have given away about 200 of them. I suspect that most people at this point would call me a complete fool for not putting them on ebay or selling them in some other way and, in their shoes, I would have no doubt reacted in a similar way. However, having to go through that whole process of selling stuff made me feel even more overwhelmed. Instead I gave the CD’s to someone who I know are very passionate about different kinds of music which to me meant they went to a good home. I did copy all of the music onto my laptop so in a sense, all I have given away is the packaging!!

All my crockery, cutlery, knives, pots and pans and my furniture has also found a new home, although they haven’t quite left yet. I have gotten rid of every item of clothing that I hadn’t worn in the past three months which also became the deciding factor for a lot of my other stuff.

I am not trying to advocate minimalism in any shape or form but for me, getting rid of stuff was a liberating (although emotional) experience and I feel lighter.

Yesterday my brother picked up the keys for my new home in Copenhagen. When I finally made the decision to go back he started looking for accommodation and every place he found appealed to me but the first two didn’t go as we might have hoped. The third one did, however, and I am so happy and grateful it did.

So far I have only seen photographs of it but I already feel at home there. I love the simplicity of the place and even more the Scandinavian feel to it that I have missed for so long but managed to suppress in my endeavour to convince myself that going back would be a failure. I am looking forward to shopping for furniture for it (the ones in the picture are the previous owner’s) and I am looking forward to making it my home. Most of all, I am looking forward to waking up, the first morning there although I may be a little confused as to where I am.

As I am writing this, my current flat/apartment is beginning to look very empty which on one hand makes me feel calm and peaceful but on the other hand makes me realise that, in less than two weeks, I will be saying goodbye to an almost 15 year chapter of my life and at this point I have absolutely no idea how to feel because I have gone through so many emotions daily and yet despite all of these emotions the underlying feeling throughout has been that I am doing the right thing. For once, I am going with my gut instinct.

Thank you WordPress

I have been blogging for just over three years now with WordPress and I have enjoyed every moment of it, but in the enjoyment I forgot the fact that there are a lot of people who has created this opportunity for me to express my thoughts and feelings.

All I have to do is log on and type my heart away without having to worry about how it will look to whoever choose to read, not to mention the amount of work these guys continue to do to develop this for all of us.

Last night as I was looking at my stats and dashboard, it dawned on me how much I had taken all of this for granted and more importantly realised how much I’d actually lose should these guys decide to shut up shop and do something else.

Thank you very much to all of you at WordPress, you are doing an amazing job and in future I will try my very best not to take it for granted.

Snow travel

As much of Europe seems faced with disruption due to adverse weather condition, I am beginning to realise just how lucky I am to have escaped all of this.

I left the UK for Denmark Friday afternoon and following a few delays, I arrived here safe and sound Friday evening.

Saturday morning I received a phone-call from a friend in Oxford who rang to tell me that he’d woken up to a good 30cm of snow Saturday morning resulting in chaos, at least from a travelling perspective.

Had I decided to travel Saturday instead of Friday I am pretty sure I would have joined the thousands of people who have been stranded at Heathrow, (and various other airports around Europe) unsure of whether or not I would make it back for Christmas. I also know how frustrating and hopeless they may feel at the moment as I would not have dealt with this uncertainty too well as evidenced by my journey back last year.

I am extremely grateful for having made it here and for the ability to write this in cosy surroundings and to the sound of a crackling fire. At the same time, however, I am not forgetting how easily I could have been stuck at Heathrow airport at this precise moment.

The above picture is taken just outside the cottage in which I am staying and I lit it again this morning in the hope that everyone stranded will make it home in time for Christmas.

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