Journey of Life

the place formerly known as control your destiny

Category Archives: Gratitude

Making room for 2010

We are already 2 days into 2010 and I wanted to take some time to reflect on 2009 before placing it in the box of the past.

2009 was a strange year for me, more so than any other year before it. It appears, through conversations with friends, that I am not alone in this viewpoint.

It was a year of change both internally and externally.

A year of highs and lows, which on reflection, counted more lows than highs but that said I also know that at some stage in future I will come to realize and understand the reasons for the lows and the lessons they contained.

The beginning of the year brought about a lot of stress in the work arena in the shape of threats of redundancy. At the time this filled me with fear of losing my job as well as anger and resentment towards my employer at the time. I escaped redundancy but resigned 6 months later after I finally admitted to myself that no job is worth the negative impact it had on my health and personal life. I now understand how easily I let myself become trapped in this job and hope that I am now able to spot the signs sooner should they occur again.

Leaving that job also meant saying goodbye to people I had become close to, however, more interestingly was some rather irrational feelings of guilt. I felt guilty for having resigned as if I was responsible for the people left behind, which begs the question; why do I impose responsibilities on myself over which I have no control? This is a question I have yet to find an answer to.

However, work was only a small part of the roller coaster of 2009. The biggest part was coming to grips with being me, and the constant chatter in my mind, for which the only outlet seemed to be this place.  Having had this outlet though, has in many ways been my saviour as well as therapy for me because by writing I managed to get some of the chatter out of my head and through the writing, answers started to appear. It helped me to focus inwards as opposed to look for answers and magic pill solutions externally. It made me open my eyes to the more sinister side to the self help industry, which initially made me want to start a crusade against every self help guru until I realized this was an automatic reaction of anger and bitterness, mostly directed at myself for having been so naïve for so long. Better late than never as the saying goes!!

I read a post from January last year in which I wrote that my New Years resolution would be to enjoy the journey rather than focus on the end result. Did I achieve that? No! But from where I am now that is not really as important as the acceptance of the fact that the journey is never mapped out. The journey (at least for me) constantly changes and for me it is the awareness of the fact that it can change in a heartbeat that may just help make it easier for me to enjoy it.

2009 also became the year I felt this blog took on a life of its own after I realized that the end result I had hoped for when I started it wasn’t going to happen. This will explain

After that I was able to write what was on my mind with no hidden agenda, the act of which taught me honesty with myself and that I was allowed to have a voice and an opinion.

I also allowed myself to open up to people in my physical world and some got access to this blog. It was frightening and yet liberating especially when I discovered that the judgment I feared was non-existent.

But the highlight of the year for me was all of you. The friends I made through the blogging world. Friends I would never have met in the physical world. Friends who I feel very lucky to have “nearly” met. Your kindness and wisdom helped me on this journey. Your posts and comments have been an endless source of inspiration to me and I feel privileged, honoured and extremely grateful.

THANK YOU.

The journey continues….

Merry Christmas

It amazes me how fast a year goes by and before I know it Christmas has once again taken me by surprise! Maybe one day I’ll learn to be more prepared for this time of year. Then again, maybe I won’t.

I realise that Christmas means different things for different people. For some it’s all about the presents, the size and cost of the present, perhaps a case of having to get an even bigger and better present than the year before. For some it’s a lonely time, for others it may be no different to any other day. For some it is a religious celebration and for some it’s quality time with loved ones.

For me Christmas is the one time of year I feel I can fully switch off from the distractions of everyday life (I realise as I am writing this that the reason for this is something for me to explore further). It is quality time spent in the company of family and friends in my favourite location.

I arrived here yesterday after what turned out to be a very strenouous journey. I will leave that story for another time as it will just send me ranting!!! Already I am enjoying the calm effect this place has on me. I can go for a walk on the beach and despite the fact that the temperatures are around -10°C it is highly enjoyable.

It is snowing as I am writing this which has put a smile on my face, the fire is lit and I have in front of me a glass of mulled wine. Dusk is fast approaching which just makes the light from the fire and candles stand out more. I am completely at ease and very calm and this is the feeling I always get whenever I come here. It’s as if this place has some magical powers that make problems and negative thoughts just disappear! Could it be magic? Or could it be, that I feel more at home here than anywhere else? The answer is not that important right now! I am just going to enjoy every moment from waking up in the morning lighting the fire to going to bed at night and everything in between.

I hope you’ll have the most wonderful Christmas.

With love and gratitude

J

Introducing a couple of Friends

I met these two wonderful people in the summer of 2007 when they were busking outside my office.

Their music may be miles apart but their talent is wonderful and the gratitude for the hours of stunning music these 2 guys provided for me is endless.

I haven’t seen them since then but I still live in the hope that one day i will hear the familiar sound of their wonderful music again outside my office.  Until then, I am lucky enough to have their CD’s.

I first met Christopher in 2007 but the first time I heard him busking was the year before. That year I didn’t get to know him,  I just enjoyed his music from a distance.

When he came back in 2007, I ended up spending more time in the street outside my office than actually doing my job!! His journey is a wonderful story in itself which you can read about HERE and his music has the most calming effect on me.

The following clip is taken in the street outside my office:

I also met Walter Jr that summer who’s talent on the guitar is phenomenal and until I practice my own guitar playing more I will always watch him with a degree of envy. He is also the most wonderful and easily approachable person you could hope to meet.

I have chosen one of my favourites below, and if you want to explore further you can search for him on Youtube using the term Kaiuan


Both of them are an inspiration to me and I have nothing but admiration for how they have chosen to follow their passion.

I have one favour to ask: If they happen to land in your town or city, please welcome them with open arms.

I am honoured and proud that our paths crossed, it has added so much value to my life. Please come back soon!

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