I have the right to be who I am and the right to love who i am without anyone else’s influence or judgment. There is only one of me, which makes me unique and there is only one of you which makes you unique, with qualities that are unique to you.
I always try my best not to pass judgment on anyone I meet regardless of their “so called” social status.
The other day at work I decided to go for a walk to clear my head and some guy stops me in the street to say hello. At this point I am trying to work out where I know him from, because the way he greeted me he seemed to know me. It soon became apparent that I had never met the guy before in my life, but I thought to myself, maybe there’s a reason for this “coincidental” meeting. He started by saying that whenever he talked to people they would get bored and walk away, which kind of threw me a little.
Ok! in all honesty, my initial reaction was to find an excuse to get away as quickly as possible! For some reason I didn’t though and I said to him that I wasn’t bored which is true, but I was feeling somewhat uncomfortable about the whole thing. There wasn’t much to the conversation other than for a few minutes I gave him my full attention and listened to him until he told me it was time for him to go (maybe I was boring him!) but afterwards I thought, how easily I could have walked away dismissing him as just being some crazy guy with no value to add to my life and I am so glad I didn’t.
Who actually decided that some people are better than others purely based on their profession, social status or the amount of money in their bank account?
I am not coming from a point of envy here. In my job I come in contact with extremely wealthy and successful people and most of them are truly wonderful people. I also come in contact with people who have absolutely nothing and most of them are really wonderful people too. (There are exceptions in both cases!)
My point is the fact that, every time I feel that I am not good enough or I could have done better, it is always when I either compare myself to someone who has done “better” than me or more importantly, when I (in my mind) haven’t lived up to what I think someone else has expected of me. This could be my boss, a friend, a family member etc.
On the other hand when I accept that I did the best that I could with the knowledge, skills and the frame of mind I was in at that particular moment, I always feel good.
I often reflect back on what I could have done better, but that just means that I have learned a lesson.
I am getting increasingly more tired of society’s constant need for us to fit into to certain categories, which (in my opinion) is largely fuelled by the media and advertising industry. I only have to turn on my TV to learn what is wrong me and exactly what product to buy to rectify the problem I never knew existed until “they” told me about it.
Is it possible that all they are doing is leaving us wanting more, without actually knowing what it is that we really want. Could this be part of the reason why some of us feel so disconnected from life and ourselves?
I have realized that what often makes me unhappy or sad is when I compare myself to people who seemingly do better than me, but when I break it down, the comparison to these successful people comes from someone else’s perspective and expectations of me. When I am in tune with myself I am proud of where I am and what I have accomplished.
This blog has turned into the place where I can truly express myself and be me and I feel at home here.
One of my favourite past times now is reading other blogs and I am at times lost for words for the gratitude I feel when reading words that have inspired me and have spoken to me as if it was written for me. I have learned more from these words than most of the alledged self help gurus that I willingly gave my money to. I am not saying that all the self help material out there is a waste of time and money. There are some truly wonderful teachers out there but there are as many “marketers” out there who fails to deliver what they promise.
Please take some time to read Unbridled Permission by iwishicouldtellyou. A perfect example of how someone else’s words have inspired me.