Well another three and a half months has all of a sudden gone by without me writing a single word and in all honesty I haven’t felt any desire to write at all.

I am not exactly sure why, but I kept feeling kind of guilty about it, and that sort of made me feel like I should write something which then stopped me completely!! Call me me mad if you want!

Why do some people (well, me!)  put this strange pressure on themselves to do things when there is no need for it?  Louise Hay is right in saying that she would like to take the word “should” and remove it from the dictionary. Whenever people (me) say to themselves; “I should be more organised at work”, “I should eat more healthy”, “I should do more exercise”, whatever, for me that word is exactly what stops me doing what I “Should” or what other people think I “Should”!

Whenever I say to myself “I should………”, immediately afterwards I automatically start to think of excuses not to do it and most of the time I end up not doing it! I wonder sometimes if I am the only one that goes through this strange thought process?!

However, her solution to that way of thinking is to replace the word “Should” with  “If I really wanted to, I could……………” and it works an absolute treat, whenever I remember to do it!!

This is the other thing; I very often have to work fairly hard at sticking to what I learn and I often fall back into old habits of both thinking and doing, and sometimes the old habits take over again for a while. It’s like taking two steps forward and one back!

The good news is the fact that even though I let the old habits take over from time to time, I now know that I can switch back at any time, which I didn’t before I started all of this self improvement stuff. I also realise that switching back really is as easy as simply making the decision to do so.

Making the decision can be that hard part!

There have been times when I wish I had never opened the door to all of this because, once you do, there is no turning back.

Perhaps there is some truth in the phrase “Ignorance is bliss”! Fortunately I very rarely think these thoughts anymore, and whenever I do, I pretty much instantly think about how much my life has improved since I started learning about this. In other words; I really do not want to go back to being ignorant to all of this.

I think at the same time though, it is important to sometimes take a little break from it all and give your mind a chance to absorb it all, which is another thing I have had to learn. It was all or nothing with me and I would go through so much of it in a short space of time, which then got me a little bit confused.

What did slow me down was a book by Spencer Johnson called One Minute for Yourself

It is a very short book and written in a story form, but it really made me open my eyes, not just in terms of doing too much learning but also in my work, which has been too hectic lately. I read it twice and then gave it to a friend who, I felt needed it more than me, but after a week without it I went out and bought another copy.

Have I managed to erase the word “Should” and replace it “If I really wanted to I could”? No not quite yet, but I am much more aware of it and I know that when I feel stressed or overwhelmed at work it is usually because I have told myself that I “Should” get something done! That is also exactly why it has taken me this long to write anything on here. Every time I attempted to even start writing something it was because I felt I should and also I was getting slightly worried that if Ileft it too long I would never write anything on here again. Obviously that is no longer the case.

Time will tell how long it will be before I write again, but when it happens, it will be because I really want to and not because I feel “I Should”!!!

Until then

I wish you all the best

J

I often feel that I should write more frequently to keep my blog going and that in itself quite often stops me because I never wanted this to be about “having” to write for the sake of it. I just wanted a vehicle where I could write whenever I felt I had something to say that could be of value to whoever chose to read it.

At the same time I have a very busy work schedule at the moment, which means that I spend more time writing my personal journal than this blog. (Call me old fashioned, but I love writing by hand)

The busy work schedule did result in me getting hold of a book on how to basically make work more light hearted and fun, which is desperately needed in the kind of work I do. Lately I have found myself getting more and more serious about the whole thing and also feeling that I am struggling to find the time to get everything done on time.

The book was a reminder on how good and funny things can be. I first got introduced to the principles in the book while training with an Insurance Company in 1999. During the training they showed us a video of a particular fish market in seattle (The World Famous Pike Place Fish Market)

After watching the video, I was pretty much ready to pack my bags, fly to Seattle and go work there. The energy these guys have and put into their day is incredible and inspiring. If a group of fishmongers can have so much fun at work, then surely anybody can!

I finished my training and in time forgot about the whole fish thing, until about 6 weeks ago when I crossed paths with a book that was written by the same people who created the video and it is one of the best reads I have experienced in a long time. A lot of the “Self Help” books can be a bit heavy at times but this one has such a light approach in getting the message across and I found myself laughing a lot.

The book is primarily geared towards creating a better atmosphere at work and that was exactly what i wanted to achieve. However, the first time I read it, I made the assumption that everybody would buy into it just like that!

What I forgot to realise was the fact that I was trying to change everyone else’s attitude and kind of forgot to change my own!!!!!

Before I go any further, let me briefly describe the 4 ingredients:

1. Play
2. Make Their Day
3. Be There
4. Choose Your Attitude

The second time I read it I decided to just try and live those principles without telling anyone hoping that maybe that way they would at least want to know where the change came from.

The interesting thing is that when I decided to read it with me in mind rather than changing everyone around me things started to change. In the past 3 weeks I have felt yet another positive change in myself.

I decided to do my best to be there for whoever needed my help as well as do whatever I could think of to put a mile on people’s faces and I have to tell you, it feels really good to actually give someone your full attention and it feels good to put a smile on someone else’s face.

The side effect of that is that now I am very behind with my own work but I guess that is nothing more than a learning curve! The main point for me is that no matter how busy you may seem or how bad you think your day is going, take some time and do something for someone else and when you see the gratitude in their eyes it is worth it. More importantly, what started as purely a journey to create a more enjoyable work atmosphere has impacted on how I am in my personal life as well, especially how to choose your attitude in any situation.

If you want to learn more, you can get the book from your local book store or by clicking the links below;

Fish!: A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results (UK)

Fish! A Remarkable Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results (US)

A short clip from Pike Place Fish Market

Sometimes I spend time reflecting on where I am in life and try to establish if I have actually accomplished anything at all.

Mostly I do this just to get an idea of whether or not I am actually going in the right direction. Sometimes I do it when I feel the need for approval and sometimes when I feel proud of something I have achieved.

It makes me feel better to, I guess in a way, I compare my state of being now to how it used to be, and pretty much every time I do this I end up feeling better and proud of how far I have actually come. More importantly it shows me that what I am doing is working and it proves to me that my emotional guidance system is working.

Even the way I accomplish tasks at work has completely transformed in the past 12 months and my confidence is at a higher level that I have ever experienced, which proves that I am doing something right. Does it mean that I can lean back and relax now? No I don’t think so, because I believe I have only just scratched the surface. I have only just started to get some understanding and clarity into what I am doing and why I am doing it.

My naive understanding of “The Law of Attraction” or whatever you choose to call it was along the lines of; well, just decide what you want and then the Universe will make sure that you get it, you don’t even have to work out how it’s gonna come about. I quite liked that! It sounded easy to me and I read a book about “Cosmic Ordering” which confirmed to me that you, just in your mind phone up the universal mail order catalogue and order whatever you want and it will be delivered.

Is it really as simple as this? There’s a part of me that think it is but at the same time there are doubts around that, and I guess because out of all the books I have read and all the audio programs I have followed, approximately half of them tell you to simply tell the universe what you want and then forget about it until it arrives and the other half tell you to take daily action. That confused me terribly for a long time and still does sometimes because there is truth in both concepts and I think that ultimately there really is one concept but because of the vast amount of information available around this subject it is sometimes hard to decipher what is of real value.

Let’s look at “The Secret” as an example. I am not sure exactly what Rhonda Byrne’s aim or objective was with that project. If it was to get people to want to learn more about the “Law of Attraction” then she accomplished that really well. If she wanted people to fully understand how it works and how it is applied then I think it left some to be desired, at least form my perspective. I am not trying to discourage anyone from buying or reading the book or watching the DVD because it did have a very positive impact on me. I have not yet seen the Movie, but I read the book 3 times and the one thing that really made sense to me was the pages about gratitude and how to be grateful for all the good things in your life and that alone has changed my life tremendously. What it also did was open other doors for me, in other words it made me search for more information and led me down the path of Jerry & Esther Hicks and the teachings of Abraham, which I will get ino in more detail at another time. It also made me find Klaus Joehle & His Living on Love books which has had a bigger impact on my life than “The Secret”, However, what I really want from all of these self improvement books/courses etc is a simple step by step uide on how to actually do it

Even when you read all these things I guess there are different ways of going about it in the sense that I used to just read and not actually go through the exercises thinking that I would just read through it and then revisit it, but usually the revisiting part never happened.

I was happy to be the observer of people accomplishing wonderful things and I could easily feel happy for them and at the same time wish I could accomplish the things I wanted, but now I realise I was seeing it from a point where I did not believe I could do it.

It is not until I think back on where I was that I realise that I have moved forward and thinking back and reflecting on my life has become a very important thing to do simply because it confirms that what I am doing is right and when I somehow get off the path reflction gently steers me back to path.

 

Keep going

 

J 

 

Monday morning, as always, seems to be the hardest of the days to get up and ready for, both physically and mentally. This morning was no different, well at least not to begin with, although I did wake up before my alarm kicked in to action and for once I managed to get up without hitting the snooze button the usual 4 or 5 times!!

Anyway I woke up feeling strangely anxious about the day ahead of me. It was kind of like I was expecting a day of nothing but problems coming my way, which obviously didn’t enthuse me to get going.

The strange thing though, I couldn’t work out where the feeling came from so I put it down to a weird dream or something.I decided to read some of “Living on Love - Something’s are Worth Believing In” which usually improves my mood by just reading it, but I found it difficult to retain my focus. During the weekend I had downloaded a free brainwave entrainment audio named “Digital Coffee” and I decided to give it a go, so I read the instructions and started listening, while I carried on reading “Living on Love - Something’s are Worth Believing In” feeling determined to reduce the level of anxiety and determined to have a good day.

Here’s the strange part; the audio is around 14 minutes long and the sound is just beats pulsating at slightly different frequencies. No subliminal messages or anything just beating pulse.

About half way into it I felt a sense of relief! You know the feeling you get when you have been worried about something and you find out all is ok? You take that deep breath and feel extremely relived and light as if a big weight has been lifted off your shoulders? That was the exact feeling I got half way through listening to it.

The other strange part is the fact that today has probably been the easiest and most productive Monday I have ever experienced! The anxiety (wherever it came from) vanished completely and I felt energetic, happy and ready for the day ahead in a way I have not experienced before and I got more done with a lot less effort than usual. I am not sure if listening to it this morning, me being determined to have a good day, a combination of the two or something completely different made it into a wonderful day and at this point I don’t really care. All I know is that tomorrow morning I will do it again and when I end up buying the full system I will be back to tell you about it.

To learn more and get your own free copy of Digital Coffee go here

All the best

J